For weeks, my neighbor Carly’s lacy underwear fluttered outside my 8-year-old son’s window, sparking awkward questions like whether her thongs were slingshots. I’m Emily, a suburban mom who finally had enough of the lingerie parade.

After a polite request to move her laundry line was met with sarcasm, I decided to fight fire with fashion. I sewed a pair of giant flamingo-print granny panties — the size of a car cover — and hung them proudly in full view of Carly’s house.