A wife got so mad at her husband she packed his bags and told him to get out.

As he walked to the door she yelled, ” I hope you die, a long, slow painful death.” He turned around and said : ‘So, you, want me to fukig stay?

2nd joke: A Woman Walks Into A Cafe

A woman walks into a cafe with a stomach ache. After a while she realizes she needs to relieve herself, knowing her f*rts are loud, she decides to f*rt simultaneously with the cafe music.

Every time the music gets really loud she let out a long f*rt.

She saw that everyone in the cafe was staring at her and later realized that she was wearing headsets the whole time.