A father has taken to Reddit to get advice on whether he was in the wrong after he got a DNA test for his son behind his wife’s back.
In his Reddit post from May 9, 2020, the 29-year-old white man explained his complex situation.
He had been in a one-year relationship with a 30-year-old Black woman, and they were parents to two children together – a son and a daughter.
Why did the man want a DNA test?
Although the man married his partner when she became pregnant with their son, he couldn’t help but notice that the child looked nothing like him.
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He described his son as “noticeably darker” than his wife, which prompted friends and family to question the boy’s paternity. Initially, the man chose to trust his wife, accepting the child as his own, but as time passed, his doubts only grew.
When their daughter was born and bore a stronger resemblance to him, with blue eyes and lighter skin, the man’s suspicions about his son intensified. He confessed that he’d gotten a paternity test for his son in secret, which revealed that the boy was indeed his biological child.
What happened after the DNA test?
The confirmation of his son’s paternity initially brought relief and improved his relationship with the child. However, the man’s honesty about the paternity test led to a heated confrontation with his wife. She accused him of racism and questioned his doubts about their daughter. Their argument left the man questioning whether he was a bad person for having had doubts in the first place.
Reddit users had a wide range of reactions to the man’s story. Some argued that his wife’s reaction was justified, saying that trust and a father’s love were more important than skin color. They encouraged him to seek forgiveness and change his mindset for the sake of his son’s wellbeing in an already complex world.
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“You not only did not trust your wife, you let your ignorance get in the way of you bonding with your child. I mean, what did you think was going to happen when you had biracial children? It’s not always a perfect mocha mixture of both parents,” one person said.
“You may get that, you may get a kid who is white as a vampire or as dark as Wesley Snipes. You really need to suck it up and beg for forgiveness and then you need to fix that ignorant way of thinking that you have. Your son is going to need you. Being a black man in this world is not easy,” the comment continued.
Others expressed sympathy for the wife and children, condemning any form of racism. They found it troubling that the man’s family’s failure to bond with his son was based on skin color alone. They emphasized the importance of the man proving his decency and ensuring that his son never learned about the paternity test.
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Some people defended the man, claiming that his actions were probably not rooted in racism, and that some doubts could happen to couples of any race and believed it was about the lack of resemblance rather than skin color.
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